Recently, Greg Prince, who is widely acknowledged as the best writer in the Mets blogosphere, published a post depicting a telemarketer trying to sell a “Mr. York” on the fact that being a Mets fan has a great deal of benefits. Here is a short excerpt:
Well, Mr. York, perhaps you haven’t heard about some of the great features we’ve added since you last fully took advantage of your Mets fanship.
No. No, we didn’t win one of those. I imagine you would have heard about it if we had. We do hope, however, to win another in the relatively near future.
No, we didn’t win one of those, either. That would’ve been big news, too. But I’m sure we’ll be competing for one very soon. In the meantime, we have all sorts of intriguing and exciting players…
No, he doesn’t play for us anymore.
I agree he was a good story, but he’s no longer here. On the other hand, we do have…
No, he’s gone, too. The year before last.
Yes, he was very good and we continue to wish him well.
No, we didn’t exactly sign anybody to take their places. We’ve been going another route.
Although this post was clearly meant as a comedic take on the misfortunes of the Mets, he is right – the Mets have completely lost New York City. Since the Yankees got good, and the Mets didn’t, this has been a Yankees town. It’s the sad truth. What can be done, you may ask? Well, that’s a tough question. However, there are steps that the Mets could take to bring the city back to where it was in the summer of 1986.
Step 1: Somehow make Matt Harvey, Zack Wheeler, Jon Niese, and Johan all win 20 games this year.
Step 2: It wouldn’t hurt if Travis d’Arnaud batted .400 this year.
Step 3: Next offseason, give Clayton Kershaw a 200 million dollar contract.
Step 4: Bring back Bobby V.
Step 5: Build that casino!
Step 6: One word. Citi Field express shuttle.
Step 7: An advertisement campaign to rival “The Magic Is Back” and “The Team, The Time.”
Step 8: Fly a blimp over the city dropping free Mets money only good for buying Mets tickets.
Step 9: For gods sake, promote the shake shack!
Step 10: Having a good season might be vitally important.
Last step: Stop trying to sell those ugly-as-hell Mr. Met caps.
These may come true. Actually, they probably won’t. But the key takeaway from this is that while not all of these steps are possible, a winning season could catapult the Mets back into the upper echelon of New York baseball talent. And when that finally happens, you won’t have to settle for reading posts like this, because a bandwagon blogger will have come along to take advantage of the newfound surge of Mets fans, and he’ll have an entire staff at his disposal to make his stories altogether more exciting and better written than mine.